


ok zoomers (its time to stop™️)

by consistently_inconsistent



Category: TREASURE (Korea Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Humor, John Mulaney References, M/M, Old Memes, Texting, and mashiho is short, asahi and yoshinori are trying their best™️, chapter 5 is just me thirsting over nct dream, doyoung is doyoung, hajeongwoo are dumb and young, hyunsuk is too old for this shit, i use ok boomer liberally, i want to be john mulaney, im so excited, it's a chat fic because my bois are back!, jihoon is a flirt, jungwhan is testing everyones patience, junkyu and jaehyuk are gay, stream ridin'!!!!, thats an actual tag-, they're finally out of the motherfucking dungeon we love, yedam is a god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:47:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22490299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consistently_inconsistent/pseuds/consistently_inconsistent
Summary: homedobby: wow this chat took a turn for the worstgrandma: of course it didgrandma: our bosses are all dicks and they know itgrandma: the maknae line just eat all daygrandma: asahi is just there to be honest.grandma: Junkyu is molesting his own reflection. AGAIN.grandma: same with Harutograndma: and jaehyukgrandma: all in all this group is a messjaehmes: ...jaehmes: wow mom snapped;a.k.a the treasure fandom needed a chatfic and i delivered.
Relationships: Bang Yedam/Kim Doyoung (TREASURE), Choi Hyunsuk/Park Jihoon, Hanada Asahi/Yoon Jaehyuk, Kim Junkyu/Takata Mashiho, Park Jeongwoo/Watanabe Haruto
Comments: 81
Kudos: 254





	1. homedobby: quick everyone quote which john mulaney quote defines you best to defeat the power of god yedam!!

**Author's Note:**

> hyunsuk - grandma  
> jihoon - jihoonie  
> junkyu - koalakyu  
> mashiho - bambi  
> asahi - asahoui  
> yoshinori - pokemon  
> jaehyuk - jaehmes  
> yedam - god  
> doyoung - homedobby  
> haruto - naruto  
> jeongwoo - jeongwhoops  
> jungwhan - newborn

**[we're going crazy - 12 participants]  
  
** **7:45 a.m**

**jeongwhoops:** do you guys think i'm manly  
**jeongwhoops:** i think im manly  
**jeongwhoops:** because we went to do like early morning excercise  
**jeongwhoops:** and i was caLLeD a bAbY

 **jaehmes:** jeongwoo ur barely human

 **jeongwhoops:** you're one to talk  
**jeongwhoops:** pokemon looking ass

 **jaehmes:** i-

 **pokemon:** i was summoned?

 **jeongwhoops:** yoshinori hyung do you think im manly?

 **pokemon:** ...  
**pokemon:** what did haruto say this time

 **jeongwhoops:** he said i was too 'baby' to be a man  
**jeongwhoops:** even though we're literally the same age and im taller than like half this group??

 **naruto:** i'm five months older than you

 **jeongwhoops:** NO.

 **koalakyu:** don't worry kid  
**koalakyu:** what's a man to a king anyway?

 **god:** what's a king to a god?

 **koalakyu:** what's a god to John Mulaney?

 **god:** well shit  
**god:** you got me there.

 **homedobby:** quick everyone quote which john mulaney quote defines you best to defeat the power of god yedam!!

 **god** : i-

 **jihoonie:** "eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs"

 **grandma:** NO.

 **pokemon:** i hate that i literally heard that as i read it

 **bambi:** "i'm very small. And i have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress i'm under"

 **grandma:** this one ill tolerate  
**grandma:** mostly cos it's a big relate

 **naruto:** short people don't deserve rights

 **grandma:** die

 **bambi:** watanabe haruto i know where you live 

**naruto:** never mind i take it back  
**naruto:** also  
**naruto:** "anyone who's met my mom and seen my dick needs to die"

 **pokemon:** haruto  
**pokemon:** kid  
**pokemon:** no one has seen your dick

 **naruto:** well shit  
**naruto:** u got me there

 **james:** watanabe haruto?? a virgin?? more likely than you'd think??

 **grandma:** he's literally 15?????

 **naruto:** ok boomer

 **grandma:** i???

 **asahoui:** okay then anyway  
**asahoui:** "i'll keep all my emotions right here  
**asahoui:** and then one day i'll die."

 **jeongwoo:** that _does_ have big asahi hyung energy

 **koalakyu:** well  
**koalakyu:** "i will pepper in the fact that i am gay"

 **jihoonie:** expected

 **god:** i remember the first time junkyu hyung came out  
**god:** he was all like "i'm gay!"  
**god:** and then jihoon hyung said, "and water is wet"  
**god:** 10/10 experience third best day of my life

 **koalakyu:** thnks fr th mmrs 

**homedobby:** (even if they weren't so great?)

 **jaehmes:** park jihoon: an eternal icon  
**jaehmes:** also: "'you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair"

 **bambi:** who is that aimed at?

 **jaehmes:** well  
**jaehmes:** me

 **bambi:** makes sense

 **grandma:** wait i have one for jungwhan  
**grandma:** "13-year olds are the meanest people in the world"

 **newborn:** thAnKs iM 15  
**newborn:** sOmE mOtHEr yOu ArE  
**newborn:** but also i have one for you  
**newborn:** "to old to be duckling quack quack"

 **jeongwhoops:** personally i think hyunsuk hyung's more of a "i don't look older, i just look worse"

 **grandma:** i knew i should have gotten an abortion when i had the chance

 **naruto:** ok boomer

 **newborn:** ok boomer

 **jeongwhoops:** ok boomer

 **koalakyu:** ok zoomers its time to stop™️  
**koalakyu:** a 10 is talking

 **naruto:** but i didn't say anything?

 **koalakyu:** the goddamn disrespect-  
**koalakyu:** i miss when i was part of the maknae line

 **grandma:** i miss when i wasn't the shortest member

 **god:** you aren't

 **bambi:** hi.   
**bambi:** :')

 **grandma:** i should be celebrating   
**grandma:** but it's mashiho  
**grandma:** so all i wanna do is swaddle him in a hundred blankets and buy him ice cream

 **god:** that's the motherly instinct kicking in

 **grandma:** curse my incredible mothering abilities  
**grandma:** now everybody come down for breakfast 

**12:07 p.m**

**pokemon:** ok but you do all realise  
**pokemon:** that mashiho could kill you all very easily if he wanted to

 **naruto:** uh huh  
**naruto:** mashiho hyung is the definition of "looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you."

 **bambi:** :)

 **jaehmes:** wow that's one scary smiley face

 **god:** oh thats fun im going to sort us all now

 **newborn:** huh?

 **grandma:** give him a minute

 **god:** looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you: mashiho hyung, jihoon hyung, doyoung  
**god:** looks like they could kill you but is a cinnamon roll: haruto, yoshinori hyung  
**god:** looks like a cinnamon roll and is a cinnamon roll: hyunsuk hyung , jaehyuk hyung, me  
**god:** looks like they could kill and could kill you: asahi hyung, jungwhan  
**god:** sinnamon roll: junkyu hyung, jeongwoo

 **homedobby:** personally i think u and me should be switched

 **god:** huh  
**god:** ok yeah sure ur not wrong  
**god:** *looks like a cinnamon roll but they could kill you: mashiho hyung, jihoon hyung, me  
**god:** *looks like a cinnamon roll and is a cinnamon roll: hyunsuk hyung , jaehyuk hyung, doyoung

 **naruto:** coughwhippedcough

 **homedobby:** what

 **naruto:** nOThiNg

 **grandma:** personally i think doyoung should go in the looks like they could kill you but is a cinnamon roll section

 **god:** ok boomer

 **grandma:** i-  
**grandma:** what is this blatant favouritism

 **jeongwhoops:** he's w*****d sir

 **naruto:** coughwhippedcough

 **god:** hajeongwoo i will end you

 **koalakyu:** personally i like how we refer to hajeongwoo as a single entity

 **bambi:** that's cos they are one????  
**bambi:** like every time haruto comes over for weekly j-line night  
**bambi:** he always brings jeongwoo???  
**bambi:** which would be fine  
**bambi:** except they never shut up????  
**bambi:** we just want to watch boku no hero academia in peace???

 **koalakyu:** you watch boku no hero academia every week without me?

 **pokemon:** which part of j-line night didn't you get?

 **asahoui:** also why is that all you took away from that whole rant  
**asahoui:** ur basically their dad keep your kids in check???

 **koalakyu:** wait who's the mom?

 **newborn:** hyunsuk hyung

 **jeongwhoops:** hyunsuk hyung

 **naruto:** hyunsuk hyung

 **jaehmes:** hyunsuk hyung

 **grandma:** me.

 **koalakyu:** ok zoomers  
**koalakyu:** but also mom responsibilities >>>> dad responsibilities soo

 **grandma:** im kicking you out of the house  
**grandma:** or moving dorms  
**grandma:** jihoons one is so much more relaxed

 **jihoonie:** yea junkyu my boy you gotta fulfil ur parental duties  
**jihoonie:** me and mashi do an a+ job look how well behaved our kids are

 **bambi:** ~~no offense but~~ you're a terrible parental partner.

 **homedobby:** oof he cut out the no offense

 **asahoui:** tfw ur siblings and u are more mature than ur actual ass dad

 **newborn:** all in all hyunsuk hyung is mom and jihoon hyung is dad  
**newborn:** mashiho hyung and junkyu hyung are our aunt and uncle  
**newborn:** yoshinori hyung and asahi hyung are our cool foreign cousins or something  
**newborn:** and jaehyuk hyung's that weird guy who lives next door

 **jaehmes:** i'll take it!

 **naruto:** i won't  
**naruto:** yoshinori hyung is my dad

 **homedobby:** (he's your dad!)

 **jeongwhoops:** (boogie woogie woogie!)

 **newborn:** well thats good because if you and jeongwoo were related it'd be weird

 **naruto:** what why?

 **jeongwhoops:** ????

 **newborn:** *** **** *** ******???

 **naruto:** excuse me-

 **jeongwhoops:** what?

 **god:** wow  
**god:** jungwhan really just exposed hajeongwoo huh

 **homedobby:** wAIt you understood that?

 **god:** well yeah

 **homedobby:** god yedam once again proves himself as superior  
**homedobby:** yall could never. 

**grandma:** we get it youre ** ****

 **jihoonie:** hey babe not everyone can be as sorted and functional as we are

 **grandma:** i love you

 **jihoonie:** i love _you_

 **jeonwhoops:** ok boomers

 **homedobby:** literally disgusting  
**homedobby:** god yedam i think im ready to ascend now

 **koalakyu:** jihoon hyung what are these lies about being functional  
**koalakyu:** yesterday u crashed into our apartment at 2 in the morning and wouldn't leave until Hyunsuk hyung cuddled you  
**koalakyu:** you can't deny it i have several eye witnesses

 **grandma:** i-

 **jihoonie:** look i was very tired  
**jihoonie:** and high off of practicing till i literally could not feel my face  
**jihoonie:** all i wanted was some love and affection from my boyfriend  
**jihoonie:** and instead i get a fucking koala exposing me?  
**jihoonie:** chivalry is dead

 **jaehmes:** w0w jihoon hyung snapped

 **asahoui:** why is jaehyuk only here for running commentary?

 **god:** well  
**god:** after that rant  
**god:** if anyone else is looking to ascend with doyoung  
**god:** they are more than welcome to contact i  
**god:** bang yedam

 **jeongwhoops:** our lord and saviour!!!!

 **naruto:** wait how many of us are actually eligible for heaven

 **god:** well definitely not you 2

 **naruto:** fair

 **jeongwhoops:** I CALLED YOU OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR

 **god:** i think all in all it's the japan line - haruto + doyoung hyunsukie hyung and i  
**god:** the rest of you can go to hell

 **koalakyu:** i knew betraying our lord and saviour jesus chirst for god bang yedam would be a problem in the afterlife

 **jaehmes:** ...  
**jaehmes:** well **  
jaehmes:** i think emily dickinson's a lesiban

 **jeongwhoops:** ok 

**naruto:** (boomer?)

 **asahoui:** ...  
**asahoui:** partial credit

 **jaehmes:** thanks i needed that

 **asahoui:** no problem :)

 **jaehmes:** <3 <3 <3

 **jihoonie:** huh  
**jihoonie:** asahi and jaehyuk? a superior pairing? more likely than you think

 **koalakyu:** Isn't that a little bit  
**koalakyu:** gAy?

 **jihoonie:** your whole existence is the definition of gAy

 **koalakyu:** you got me there

 **homedobby:** wow this chat took a turn for the worst

 **grandma:** of course it did  
**grandma:** our bosses are all dicks and they know it  
**grandma:** the maknae line eat all day  
**grandma:** asahi is just there to be honest.  
**grandma:** Junkyu is molesting his own reflection. AGAIN.  
**grandma:** same with Haruto  
**grandma:** and jaehyuk  
**grandma:** all in all this group is a mess

 **jaehmes:** ...  
**jaehmes:** wow mom snapped

 **jihoonie:** that was kind of hot not gonna lie

 **bambi:** there are children on this chat mind your motherfucking tongue

 **god:** the irony

 **koalakyu:** is it ironic because he used the fuck word  
**koalakyu:** or because mashiho himself is an actual baby

 **god:** originally it was just the first one but now that you mention it

 **bambi:** i could kill both of you in my sleep

 **koalakyu:** adorable

 **god:** im god you can't kill me

 **bambi:**...  
**bambi:** fine  
**bambi:** junkyu hyung i could kill you in my sleep

 **koalakyu:** still adorable

 **newborn:** wow i knew junkyu hyung was fucking gAY  
**newborn:** i just didn't know he was this fucking gAY

 **koalakyu:** don't use the fuck word ull upset mashi

 **jaehmes:** jungwhan baby we're all fukcing gay 

**newborn:** personally i think im too young to have figured out my wholeass sexuality just yet

 **grandma:** valid, very, very, valid  
**grandma:** the maknae?? literally 14??? wiser than all of you???  
**grandma:** more likely than you think

 **newborn:** im fifteen u fkn wench

 **grandma:** ...  
**grandma:** i fucking hate it here

**9:45 p.m**

**god:** ik im like supposed to be god  
**god:** but how is mashiho hyung a real person?

 **koalakyu:** im confused but also big relate

 **god:** no you don't get it  
**god:** like we went to play basketball together  
**god:** and yoshi hyung said mashiho hyung was good at basketball  
**god:** but i like assumed he meant like "good for a short person"

 **jeongwhoops:** you say that like you're hella tall or sum??

 **god:** shut up  
**god:** anyway so we reach the court and we start playing okay  
**god:** i shoot the first basket  
**god:** but then mashiho hyung gets the ball and me and doyoung just don't ever get it back

 **naruto:** mashiho hyung? the only short person i respect?  
**naruto:** more likely than you think.

 **homedobby:** mashiho just is That Bitch™️ huh?

 **bambi:** that's That Bitch™️ hyung to you

 **newborn:** we stan sick bitches like mashiho hyung  
**newborn:** a whole icon

 **koalakyu:** im just a little bit weak

 **jihoonie:** *very  
**jihoonie:** ur very weak

koalakyu: ...  
koalakyu: pc me to join my mashiho fanclub applications open

 **bambi:** thats so cute omg  
**bambi:** i love you hyung!

 **koalakyu:** asdgiflauwoffqpo  
**koalakyu:** i mean  
**koalakyu:** i love you too!

 **god:** okay then  
**god:** but also like halfway through the game after like _all_ that madness  
**god:** his tiny arms shot a wholeass three pointer???  
**god:** like  
**god:** how is this real life???

 **jeongwhoops:**... **  
jeongwhoops:** is this the real life?

 **naruto:** is this a fantasy?

 **newborn:** caught in a landslide

 **koalakyu:** no escape from reality!!!!

 **god:** open your eyessss

 **jaehmes:** look up to the skies and seeeeeeeeeeeee

 **asahoui:** im just a poor boy

 **grandma:** i need no sympathyy

 **jihoonie:** because im easy come easy go little high little low

 **bambi:** any way the wind blows

 **pokemon:** doesn't really matter 

**homedobby:** to meeeeeeeeeeeee

 **jeongwhoops:** to  
**jeongwhoops:** meee

 **jihoonie:** wow  
**jihoonie:** that was-  
**jihoonie:** that was beautiful

 **homedobby:** uh guys  
**homedobby:** i think jihoon hyung's crying


	2. asahoui: ur so fkn deep into ur denial that ur literally situationally blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bambi: can we go back to the fact that i am literally  
> bambi: THIS  
> bambi: close to dumping Haruto in the nearest orphanage
> 
> pokemon: technically im his dad
> 
> bambi: yeah and im the only short person he respects we're basically equals
> 
> pokemon: huh  
> pokemon: fair enough i guess

**[we're going crazy - 12 participants]**

**8:30 pm**

**bambi:** _@jeongwoo_ can you PLEASE collect your boyfriend

 **jeongwhoops:** huh?  
 **jeongwhoops:** what boyfriend?  
 **jeonwhoops:** im confused

 **pokemon:** bAsiCaLLy  
 **pokemon:** we're supposed to be having weekly j-line night like right now  
 **pokemon:** and well...

 **bambi:** basically ur boyfriends being a little shit

 **pokemon:** i mean-  
 **pokemon:** yea basically

 **jeongwhoops:** IM SORRY WHO EXACTLY IS MY BOYFRIEND?

 **grandma:** Haruto

 **jihoonie:** Haruto

 **koalakyu:** Haruto

 **bambi:** Haruto

 **asahoui** **:** Haruto

 **pokemon** **:** Haruto

 **jaehmes:** Haruto

 **god** **:** Haruto

 **homedobby** **:** Haruto

 **newborn** **:** Haruto

 **naruto:** that's Haruto Hyung to you

 **newborn:** why did you respond to THAT  
 **newborn:** and not the stream of ppl referring to you as jengwoo hyung's boyfriend

 **naruto:** oh I SEE jeongwoo gets a hyung but i don't

 **asahoui:** ur so fkn deep into ur denial that ur literally situationally blind

 **naruto:** ok boomer-

 **asahoui:** nO.

 **naruto:**...  
 **naruto:** im sorry.

 **asahoui:** right answer

 **bambi:** can we go back to the fact that i am literally  
 **bambi:** THIS  
 **bambi:** close to dumping Haruto in the nearest orphanage

 **pokemon:** technically im his dad

 **bambi:** yeah and im the only short person he respects we're basically equals

 **pokemon:** huh  
 **pokemon:** fair enough i guess

 **god:** not really but sure

 **grandma:** do i get no say in whether or not haruto gets sent into adoption  
 **grandma:** (because if i do then i strongly support Mashiho's decision)

 **jaehmes:** wait what did haruto even do

 **naruto:** hahahahahahahahaahaha.

 **newborn:** uh  
 **newborn:** that wasn't suspicious at all

 **jeongwhoops:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SO FUNNY IM LITERALLY GOING TO CRY

 **newborn:** WHAT DID HE DO!???

 **jeongwhoops:** bAsiCalLy  
 **jeongwhoops:** during weekly j-line night one person is in charge of preparing pop-corn  
 **jeongwhoops:** (with the movie theatre butter because hannah montana)  
 **jeongwhoops:** and today was haruto's turn  
 **jeongwhoops:** long story short their dorms kitchen floor is literally covered in butter and mashiho hyung fell

 **homedobby:** i-  
 **homedobby:** im permanently moving into the treasure dorm bye bye

 **god:** why would you do that we deal with buttered floors on a daily basis  
 **god:** you guys'll have it max once a week

 **homedobby:** shit u right-

 **grandma:** sigh  
 **grandma:** did he drop the butter and then not manage to pick it up again  
 **grandma:** as a result spreading the stick across the entire kitchen floor

 **bambi:** yes

 **pokemon:** why is this like a regular thing?

 **naruto:** nO.

 **grandma:** yes

 **koalakyu:** yes

 **jaehmes:** yes

 **jeongwhoops:** yes

 **newborn** **:** yes

 **naruto:**...  
 **naruto:** sigh  
 **naruto:** yes.

 **koalakyu:** WAIT IS MASHIHO OKAY!???

 **pokemon:** yeah he's currently chasing haruto  
 **pokemon:** with vengeance   
**pokemon:** and a frying pan

 **asahoui:** the frying pan is particularly important

 **koalakyu:** we stan a strong independent tiny man yES!

 **homedobby:** ur so whipped i hate you so much

 **koalakyu:** right back at you god-fucker

 **homedobby:** how about nO!

 **jeongwhoops:** well anyway  
 **jeongwhoops:** so i decided to look up god-fucker

 **grandma:** and u questioned why Yedam said u wouldn't ascend

 **jeongwhoops:** oKaY mOm  
 **jeongwhoops:** anyway i found this quora page and like  
 **jeongwhoops:<https://www.quora.com/Is-it-a-sin-to-be-sexually-attracted-to-Jesus-Christ>**

 **grandma:** NOPE NOT IN THIS WHOLESOME CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD

 **homedobby:** first of all: the only god i pray to is bang yedam  
 **homedobby:** second of all as long as you and jihoon hyung are in a relationship we will never be wholesome

 **jihoonie:** excuse me  
 **jihoonie:** me and my hyunsukie hyung are literally the definition of wholesome  
 **jihoonie:** the rest of you are just petty because you don't have boyfriends

 **newborn:** im pretty sure im the only one here without a bf

 **jeongwhoops:** um nO

 **bambi:** ^^^

 **god:** hey i am too!!

 **jaehmes:** im so single i could cry

 **newborn:**...  
 **newborn:** *sigh*  
 **newborn:** NONE of you are single yall r just blind  
 **newborn:** that's all imma say

 **jeongwhoops:** um

 **bambi:** i-

 **god:** wha-

 **jaehmes:**...  
 **jaehmes:** ominous


	3. bambi: shut up, wash your hands, and fuck off with your anti-establishment bullshit now is not the time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> asahoui: look the whole virus is scheme by the government to stop our freedom and soon-
> 
> bambi: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO  
> bambi: not here  
> bambi: not during the day  
> bambi: i do not deal with your goddamn conspiracy theories every night only to also deal with them in the morning  
> bambi: shut up, wash your hands, and fuck off with your anti-establishment bullshit now is not the time

**[we're going crazy - 12 participants]  
  
2:06 p.m**

**koalakyu:** so i just watched the new dance practice video yall did  
 **koalakyu:** and wow _@homedobby @newborn_ yall really did jihoon like that huh

 **grandma:** im confused  
 **grandma:** what video???

 **koalakyu:** i-  
 **koalakyu:** i can't believe you guys think hyunsuk hyuns a better parent than me

 **homedobby:** how could you hyung???

 **newborn:** i have never felt this betrayed in my entire life  
 **newborn:** i knew I should've run away when I had the chance

 **jeongwhoops:** lmao no one's stopping you

 **newborn:** i-  
 **newborn:** hyung  
 **newborn:** you-

 **jeongwhoops:** what the corona monster never stopped you from leaving your house  
 **jeongwhoops:** the government did  
 **jeongwhoops:** and you know fuck the government and all that jazz  
  
 **asahoui:** look the whole virus is scheme by the government to stop our freedom and soon-

 **bambi:** NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO  
 **bambi:** not here  
 **bambi:** not during the day  
 **bambi:** i do not deal with your goddamn conspiracy theories every night only to also deal with them in the morning  
 **bambi:** shut up, wash your hands, and fuck off with your anti-establishment bullshit now is not the time

 **asahoui:** ...  
 **asahoui:** :(

 **jaehmes:** *gasp*

 **bambi:** oh no

 **jaehmes:** don't be sad asahi baby I'm right here!  
 **jaehmes:** ill be in your dorm with jellies and blankets in -1 seconds  
 **jaehmes:** not to mention cuddles  
 **jaehmes:** (mashiho your a dead man)  
 **jaehmes:** lets turn that frown upside down!

 **asahoui:** ):

 **jaehmes:** not what I meant BUT PROGRESS!

 **jeongwhoops:** literally how?

 **jaehmes:** nO.

 **jeongwhoops:** uh  
 **jeongwhoops:** okay.

 **pokemon:** lets maybe go back to how jeongwoo called it the corona-monster

 **naruto:** that's so cute  
 **naruto:** wait no nevermind haha  
 **naruto:** lets go back to how you can't even say corona virus

 **pokemon:** DONT TAKE ITS FUCKING NAME CHILD

 **grandma:** *sigh*  
 **grandma:** language

 **jeongwhoops:** why the sigh?

 **grandma:** because at this point i know none of you ever listen

 **newborn:** okay lets go back to how you didn't watch our video

 **jihoonie:**!!!!!  
 **jihoonie:** yeah babe >:(((  
 **jihoonie:** i feel so betrayed  
 **jihoonie:** my own husband

 **homedobby:** my own mother

 **newborn:** my own grandma

 **grandma:** ...  
 **grandma:** i  
 **grandma:** literally  
 **grandma:** hate  
 **grandma:** all  
 **grandma:** of  
 **grandma:** you

 **god:**...  
 **god:** you know whats coming don't you

 **grandma:** *sigh*  
 **grandma:** yeah

 **jihoonie:** ok boomer

 **koalakyu:** ok boomer

 **bambi:** ok boomer

 **asahoui** **:** ok boomer

 **pokemon** **:** ok boomer

 **jaehmes:** ok boomer

 **homedobby** **:** ok boomer

 **newborn** **:** ok boomer

 **naruto:** ok boomer

 **jeongwhoops:** ok boomer

 **god:** called it

 **homedobby:**...  
 **homedobby:** hyungg 👀

 **god:** *sigh*  
 **god:** ok boomer

 **grandma:** annnnnd... that's everyone yea

 **pokemon:** recently everything hyung does has the  
 **pokemon:** "disappointed but not surprise" vibe

 **grandma:** well  
 **grandma:** such is life for an old knickerbocker like me

 **jaehmes:** ONE FEELS LIKE A DUCK SPLASHING AROUND IN ALL THIS WET  
 **jaehmes:** AND WHEN ONE FEELS LIKE A DUCK ONE IS HAPPY

 **jeongwhoops:** ooooh ducklings!

 **jaehmes:** NO TOO OLD TO A DUCKLING  
 **jaehmes:** quack quack

 **god:**...  
 **god:** and we're back at it with the john mulaney references

 **koalakyu:** bold of you to assume we ever stopped  
 **koalakyu:** jihoon's bio has been "eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs" this whole time

 **god:** you got me there

 **jeongwhoops:** you say that a lot for someone who claims to be a god

 **god:**.

 **jeongwhoops:** nevermind you're right i'm sorry all hail god yedam

 **naruto:** YOU say that a lot for someone who claims to be an aeithist babe

 **jeongwhoops:** literally shut up  
 **jeongwhoops:** WAIT **  
jeongwhoops:** oh no

 **jihoonie:** babe?

 **koalakyu:** babe?

 **bambi:** babe?

 **asahoui** **:** babe?

 **pokemon** **:** babe?

 **jaehmes:** babe?

 **homedobby** **:** babe?

 **newborn** **:** babe?

 **naruto:**...  
 **naruto:** babe?

 **jeongwhoops:** oh you shut up

 **naruto:** :)

 **pokemon:** I-  
 **pokemon:** okay  
 **pokemon:** I'm just not going to ask

 **asahoui:** that seams like a smart decision

 **god:** for someone who claims to be his dad  
 **god:** you're not particularly interest to know who he's dating

 **pokemon:** well for someone who's been madly in love with [redacted] for literal years  
 **pokemon:** you are unbelievable single

 **jihoonie:** DING DING FUCKING DING

 **newborn:** I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN DONE

 **jeongwhoops:** SOMEONE BEAT GOD YEDAM???  
 **jeongwhoops:** HYUNG YOUR MY HERO!!!

 **god:** i  
 **god:** im relinquishing my god status to yoshinori hyung  
 **god:** goodbye  
 **god:** see you never

 **koalakyu:** wow yoshi that was kinda sick

 **jaehmes:** he did the impossible  
 **jaehmes:** truly a hero amongst us all

 **newborn:** a god amongst men (and god yedam)  
 **newborn:** (ex-god yedam)

 **god:** :(((((

 **homedobby:** DON'T WORRY HYUNG YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A GOD IN MY EYES

 **god:** (((((:

 **jeongwhoops:** ahem  
 **jeongwhoops:** whipped  
 **jeongwhoops:** ahem

 **god:** oh shut up "babe"

 **jeongwhoops:** HNNNNNNNNN


	4. sakura: all in favor of ghosting kyu/leaving him on read until they all forget say 'I'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> asahoui: ...  
> asahoui: huh.  
> asahoui: maybe if no one mentions it no one will notice
> 
> homedobby: notice what?
> 
> asahoui: exactly
> 
> homedobby: i-  
> homedobby: am so confused

**[we're going crazy - 12 participants]**

**00:15 a.m**

**god:** at this point idk what i want more  
**god:** for us to debut or for blackpink to have a motherfucking comeback

 **jaehmes:** hey i love all of you but bp take precedence no tea no shade

 **god:** you know what i gotta agree with you there

 **grandma:** children it is 12:15   
**grandma:** go the fuck to bed

 **god:** but blackpink-

 **grandma:** GO!

**6:30 a.m**

**jihoonie:** i interrupted my morning workout for this  
**jihoonie:** but im just here to say that i would pick blackpink over all of you  
**jihoonie:** and myself  
**jihoonie:** and my future

 **god:** yes.

 **jaehmes:** say it louder for the people at the back

 **pokemon:** HAHAHA THAT REMINDS ME  
**pokemon:** HARUTO REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME YOU BUMPED INTO THEM  
**pokemon:** AND CALLED THEM "BLACKPINK SAMA"

 **homedobby:** omg

 **koalakyu:** no wAy

 **jihoonie:** ruto dude-

naruto: HYUNG!!!!  
**naruto:** THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE KEPT ON THE J-LINE CHAT  
**naruto:** AND ONLY THE J-LINE CHAT

 **bambi:** wait oh no

 **naruto:** WHAT HAPPENED TO "WHAT HAPPENS IN THE J-LINE CHAT STAYS ON THE J-LINE CHAT"  
**naruto:** I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE DONE THIS

 **jihoonie:** haha rip vine

 **newborn:** ok boomer

 **jihoonie:** kid i swear to fucking god

 **asahoui:**...  
**asahoui:** huh.  
**asahoui:** maybe if no one mentions it no one will notice

 **homedobby:** notice what?

 **asahoui:** exactly

 **homedobby:** i-  
**homedobby:** am so confused

 **koalakyu:** wait  
**koalakyu:** YOU GUYS HAVE A SEPERATE J-LINE GC

 **pokemon:**...

 **naruto:**...

 **bambi:**...

 **asahoui:**...  
**asahoui:** um  
**asahoui:** we'll be right back

**[you are the chidori to my rasengan - 4 participants]**

**6:33 a.m**

**sasuke:** dammit haruto

 **shikamaru:** dammit haruto

 **sakura:** dammit haruto

 **still naruto:**...  
**still naruto:** iM sOrRy OkaY

 **sakura:** u mfker now i gotta convince junkyu this doesn't exist  
**sakura:** or he'll pout till i add him

 **sasuke:** god mashiho get a backbone jEeZ

 **sakura:** you say that like you wouldn't do the same thing for jaehyuk you fucking hypocrite

 **shikamaru:** OKAY OKAY deep breaths  
**shikamaru:** haruto may be an idiot but he's still a child  
**shikamaru:** or is he an idiot because he's a child...

 **still naruto:** HEY!

 **sasuke:** he's not wrong.

 **still naruto: *** sigh*  
**still naruto:** yeah  
**still naruto:** i know

 **sakura:** anyway yoshi hyung continue

 **shikamaru:** right right  
**shikamaru:** so we'll just tell em a little white line  
**shikamaru:** and tell them mashiho only told us on the old japan trainees gc  
**shikamaru:** which is pretty much true because he told us there also

 **still naruto:** wait what?  
**still naruto:** i did?  
**still naruto:** huh  
**still naruto:** no matter they all started calling me haruto sama and then laughing

 **sakura:** wait wtf did you think they were doing i-

 **asahoui:** haruto  
**asahoui:** ik i tell you this on a near hourly basis  
**asahoui:** but ur actually the 3rd stupidest person i know

 **still naruto:** sigh  
**still naruto:** makes sense

 **shikamaru:** wait who's number 1 and 2

 **sasuke:** well 1 is my cos i hate myself  
**sasuke:** and 2 is jeongwoo because well duh

 **shikamaru:** fair enough

 **sakura:** valid

 **still naruto:** true  
**still naruto:** WAIT THAT'S MY FKN BOYFRIEND-

 **sakura:** wait i just realised something  
**sakura:** im the only girl  
**sakura:** why am i the only girl

 **sasuke:** because we did this according to character  
**sasuke:** and you get angry and beat people twice ur size up the same way sakura does

 **sakura:** then why are you sasuke

 **sasuke:** how is this a question have you looked at me?  
**sasuke:** everyone wants some of this

 **still naruto:** jeongwoo thinks you're more of a hinata

 **sasuke:** well i already established that jeongwoo's the 2nd dumbest person ik so what does he know

 **shikamaru:** i mean  
**shikamaru:** considering you said YOU were the dumbEST  
**shikamaru:** you're words not mine

 **sasuke:**...  
**sasuke:** i cannot deal with all this slander right now

 **sakura:** dramatic ass

 **sasuke:** short ass

 **sakura:** bitch you wanna fight

 **sasuke:** ur not tall enough  
**sasuke:** what are you gonna do  
**sasuke:** slap my calves

 **sakura:** say goodbye to your kneecaps motherfucker

 **shikamaru:** someone please explain how they act like this on text but they literally have the chillest dorm in the whole group

 **still naruto:** one of mother nature's greatest mysteries

 **sasuke:** yeah right next to why she let you and jeongwoo date 

**still naruto:** :'(  
**still naruto:** brb im going to commit die

 **sakura:** finally

 **sasuke:** about time

 **shikamaru:**...  
**shikamaru:** god i hate it here

 **still naruto:** WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING YOUR NOT THE ONE BEING BULLIED HERE

**[we're going crazy - 12 participants]**

**7:15 a.m**

**koalakyu:** hey bois m waiting for my answer  
**koalakyu:** hey  
**koalakyu:** hey j-line  
**koalakyu:** mashiho?  
**koalakyu:** babe?  
**koalakyu:** yoshinori? haruto? asahi?  
**koalakyu:** um  
**koalakyu:** ok then

 **god:** cool yea lets get back to what really matters

 **jaehmes:** bLaCkPiNk?

 **god:** BlAcKpInK.

**[you are the chidori to my rasengan - 4 participants]**

**7:21 a.m**

**still naruto:** um  
**still naruto:** is that it?

 **shikamaru:** i mean i guess

 **sasuke:** woah it was just that easy huh

 **sakura:** well  
**sakura:** all in favor of ghosting kyu/leaving him on read until they _all_ forget say 'I'

 **still naruto:** i

 **shikamaru:** I

 **sasuke:** i

 **shikamaru:** well then  
**shikamaru:** taht's settled  
**shikamaru:** DAILY J-LINE CRISIS?   
**shikamaru:** AVERTED!

 **still naruto:** YOU STILL A WHOLE DORK?  
**still naruto:** NEVER CHANGED!

 **sasuke:** YOU STILL GETTING BULLIED?  
**sasuke:** NEVER WILL CHANGE

 **still naruto:** OH LORD GET ME OUT OF THIS GODDAMN PRISON!

 **sakura:** too late  
**sakura:** ur stick in here with the rest of us sonny  
**sakura:** grit ur teeth and fucking bear it like the rest of us

 **still naruto:**...  
**still naruto:** mom pick me up im scared

 **shikamaru:** kid im just as stuck as the rest of you

 **still naruto:**...  
**still naruto:** well  
**still naruto:** F

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just for some extra context
> 
> j-line gc names:  
> sakura - mashiho  
> shikamaru - yoshinori  
> sasuke: asahi  
> naruto - haruto
> 
> :))


	5. jeongwhoops: nct dream world domination everyone yall better stream ridin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> asahoui: i think we should add weekly thirsting alongside our weekly existential crises  
> asahoui: i think it would help keep morals up
> 
> newborn: you say that like we don't already do that every night  
> newborn: haruto hyung hugs he's g-dragon sunbaenim cut out every night before going to bed  
> newborn: yedam hyung sleeps with his blackpink lightstick  
> newborn: doyoung hyung has approximately 137994723130430 ikon posters  
> newborn: we don't need an hour dedicated purely to that shit

**[going crazy - 12 participants]**

**12:17 a.m**

**asahoui:** weekly existential crises with asahi  
**asahoui:** todays thoughts: virginity is a construct  
**asahoui:** discuss

 **grandma:** nice our weekly intellectual discussions  
**grandma:** go on children

 **god:** my time has come

 **jihoonie:** we boutta gain some knowledge hoes

 **god:** well that's one way to phrase it  
**god** anyway here's the thing  
**god:** virginity is obviously literal in a linguistic sense in the fact that you do loose it when you have sex  
**god:** but it's still a construct because what constitutes sex anyway? Is it just the physical? Or should it also include love and intimacy.  
**god:** furthermore virginity is a construct because well, it isn't really tangible.

 **bambi:** continuing on from Yedam  
**bambi:** common misconception is that a broken hymen means you've lost your virginty, but your hymen can break by doing the splits?  
**bambi:** and since us boys don't have any sort of physical "barrier" either it's even less applicable to us  
**bambi:** in conclusion: yes, virginity is indeed a construct.

 **bambi:** boom

 **god:** boom

 **jeongwhoops:** boom boom boom

 **newborn:** boom boom

 **koalakyu:** boom boom boom

 **jaehmes:** boom boom

 **naruto:** boom boom boom

 **jihoonie:** yeah we got that

 **asahoui:** nareul deonjigo

 **homedobby:** neoreul kkaeugo

 **pokemon:** show me what you got

 **bambi:** yeolgwaneun crazy

 **god:** gaseumi ttwineundaero ttwieobwa right now **  
**

**jeongwhoops:** nct dream world domination everyone  
**jeongwhoops:** yall better stream ridin'

 **grandma:** you guys really turned mashi and yedams intellectual lecture into an nct dream fanchant huh  
**grandma:** you know what i'm not even mad  
**grandma:** nct dream best boys!!!!

 **asahoui:** also i would let jeno rail me-

 **grandma:** KIDS ON THE CHAT KIDS ON THE CHAT

 **jaehmes:** where's the lie thO

 **jihoonie:** huh  
**jihoonie:** more proof that asahi and jaehyuk are the most functional almost-a-couple in treasure  
**jihoonie:** after me and hyunsukie hyung of course uwu

 **grandma:** i love you **♡** **♡** **♡** **♡**

 **jihoonie:** i love YOU ❤❤❤❤

 **jeongwhoops:** i feel like i've said this more than enough times  
**jeongwhoops:** but ew

 **jaehmes:** anyway back to our nct dream thirsting

 **asahoui:** jaemin's so fucking pretty i want to cry  
**asahoui:** man looked a like a fucking god the whole mv  
**asahoui:** the blue hair? *chefs kiss*

 **god:** idk why jisung looks so much older than me but he does  
**god:** and he looks hot  
**god:** im upset but im not complaining

 **jeongwhoops:** speaking of hot BLACK HAIRED CHENLE WORLD DOMINATION

 **pokemon:** also renjuns purple ombre hair im living

 **bambi:** lets not forget hyuck and his powerhouse vocals + visual combination

 **jaehmes:** YES  
**jaehmes:** man looked straight up chocolatey i wanna die

 **god:** chocolatey  
**god:** that's a new way to compliment someone

 **jaehmes:** as long as it gets the point across

 **god:** fair enough

 **grandma:** ANYWAY STREAM RIDIN'

 **asahoui:** i think we should add weekly thirsting alongside our weekly existential crises  
**asahoui:** i think it would help keep morals up

 **newborn:** you say that like we don't already do that every night  
**newborn:** haruto hyung hugs he's g-dragon sunbaenim cut out every night before going to bed  
**newborn:** yedam hyung sleeps with his blackpink lightstick  
**newborn:** doyoung hyung has approximately 137994723130430 ikon posters  
**newborn:** we don't need an hour dedicated purely to that shit

 **asahoui:** no no honey thats fanboying  
**asahoui:** this is THIRSTING

 **newborn:** i don't get the difference??

 **koalakyu:** well-

 **grandma:** NO HE IS A CHILD HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW

 **newborn:** :(

 **koalakyu:** :(

 **grandma:** NO

 **newborn:** but im curiousssss and i wanna knowwwwww

 **koalakyu:** and i wanna telllllllllll

 **asahoui:** why don't you just like  
**asahoui:** tell him on pc

 **koalakyu:**...  
**koalakyu:** i will be back in a minute

 **grandma:** damn asahi and his fucking braincells  
**grandma:** you could have used them for good like yoshi and mashiho  
**grandma:** but ur using them for evil like yedam

 **asahoui:** sorry not sorry

 **koalakyu:** i can't believe all of us thought asahi was the nice shy normal one in the beginning  
**koalakyu:** we are: clowns  
**koalakyu:** 🤡🤡🤡🤡

 **pokemon:** we tried to tell you all

 **bambi:** but no one listened

 **naruto:** smH

 **asahoui:** >:)))

 **newborn:** thanks for nothing junkyu hyung  
**newborn:** you were supposed to tell me what thirsting meant  
**newborn:** but you just said nevermind im scared of hyunsuk hyung and left the chat  
**newborn:** WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO TO YOU HE'S LIKE OUR SHORTEST MEMBER

 **grandma:** HEY!!!  
**grandma:** but junkyu im proud of you  
**grandma:** ALSO SO JUNGWHAN IM THE SECOND SHORTEST MEMBER  
**grandma:** ALSO I HAVE YOUR PARENTS NUMBERS AND IM NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM

 **newborn:** O

 **jaehmes:** wait do you have all our parents numbers???

 **jihoonie:** yes he does  
**jihoonie:** he has a gc with all of them where he rats you guys out on the weekly

 **koalakyu:** WHAT

 **jeongwhoops:** NO WAY

 **naruto:** iS tHaT aLLoWeD???

 **grandma:** dw jihoonies lying  
**grandma:**...unless...

 **jihoonie:** im not lying  
**jihoonie:** jk jk  
**jihoonie:**...unless

 **bambi:** you two are insufferable

 **grandma:** you love us

 **bambi:** i only love one man

 **koalakyu:** awe babeeee  
**koalakyu:** i love you tooooo  
**koalakyu: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️**

 **bambi:** i was talking about jaemin from nct dream  
**bambi:** but sure

 **koalakyu:** :((

 **homedobby:** junkyu has been: destroyed  
**homedobby:** press F to pay your respects

 **jihoonie:** lmao nO as if i have any respects for him  
**jihoonie:** koala looking ass

 **koalakyu:** :( all :( i :( do :( is :( suffer :(

 **jeonghwoops:** okay  
**jeongwhoops:** boomer

 **koalakyu:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH  
**koalakyu:** be right back im going to commit die

 **bambi:** no don't dieee  
**bambi:** you're cuteeeee

 **koalakyu:**...  
**koalakyu:** fine if you insist

 **god:** he literally just told you he loved another man  
**god:** and now this  
**god:** never mind i give up

 **homedobby:** awe yedamie-hyung do you want cuddles

 **god:**... no

 **homedobby:**...

 **god:**...yes.

 **homedobby:** :)))  
**homedobby:** ill be right there


	6. koalakyu: hyunsuk hyung who? i only hoesuk hyung.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> homedobby: *sigh*  
> homedobby: i knew i should've joined cix with seunghun hyung and byounggon hyung when i had the chance
> 
> jihoonie: STAN CIX MOTHERFUCKERS  
> jihoonie: OTHERWISE YOU'LL NEVER REACH MOVIE MOVIE STAR STATUS
> 
> grandma: yes support my ex and his new boyfriend   
> grandma: who is also my ex  
> grandma: fUcK

**[we're going crazy - 12 participants]  
  
** **7:45 a.m**

 **grandma:** GUESS WHO'S FINALLY DEBUTING!!!

 **jeongwhoops:** SEULRENE SUBUNIT!  
 **jeongwhoops:** Rosé Noona SOLO!!  
 **jeongwhoops:** CRAVITY!!!

 **grandma:** um no-

 **jeongwhoops:** BLACKPINK COMEBACK!  
 **jeongwhoops:** TWICE COMEBACK!!

 **grandma:** Okay now your not even listing debuts

 **god:** OMG SEULRENE SUBUNIT WIG  
 **god:** LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT DEBUT OF 2020

 **grandma:** i-

 **god:** tell me i'm wrong, i dare you, do it

 **grandma:** I DON'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!

 **god:** that's what i fucking thought loser  
 **god:** don't attack my fucking girl groups

 **pokemon:** ok but yedamie  
 **pokemon:** you're literally debuting  
 **pokemon:** in like  
 **pokemon:** just weeks

 **god:** oh that

 **grandma:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'OH THAT' WHY AREN'T YOU EXCITED

 **god:** it's just that knowing our company  
 **god:** "just weeks" basically means im not debuting till like  
 **god:** 2022 maybe? 2023?

 **koalakyu:** YOU DUMBASS BITCH DON'T JINX IT  
 **koalakyu:** JUST HOPE FOR THE FUCKING BEST

 **jihoonie:** the fuck is up with him?

 **bambi:** he's just upset because of the new blackpink schedule

 **newborn:** i like the new blackpink schedule-

 **koalakyu:** THAT'S COS UR YOUNG AND NAIVE AND DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT YG WILL NEVER GIVE THEM LITERALLY 3 COMEBACKS A YEAR  
 **koalakyu:** FORGET THREE COMEBACKS IN A YEAR BACK TO FUCKING BACK  
 **koalakyu:** THEY'RE BEING FUCKED WITH AGAIN. WE'RE BEING FUCKED WITH AGAIN. EVERYTHING IS FUCKED.

 **grandma:** ok but what about the fact that we're literally debuting  
 **grandma:** like fully  
 **grandma:** in not too much time now  
 **grandma:**!!!!!!

 **koalakyu:** sure that's cool  
 **koalakyu:** but that basically just means that by the end of the year we'll have more songs than blackpink  
 **koalakyu:** and that makes me big mad

 **homedobby:** *sigh*  
 **homedobby:** i knew i should've joined cix with seunghun hyung and byounggon hyung when i had the chance

 **jihoonie:** STAN CIX MOTHERFUCKERS  
 **jihoonie:** OTHERWISE YOU'LL NEVER REACH MOVIE MOVIE STAR STATUS

 **grandma:** yes support my ex and his new boyfriend   
**grandma:** who is also my ex  
 **grandma:** fUcK

 **koalakyu:** hyunsuk hyung who? i only hoesuk hyung.

 **god:** HOESUK HYUNG

 **jeongwhoops:** HOESUK HYUNG

 **naruto:** HOESUK HYUNG

 **jaehmes:** HOESUK HYUNG

 **asahoui:** HOESUK HYUNG

 **bambi:** HOESUK HYUNG

 **pokemon:** HOESUK HYUNG

 **homedobby:** HOESUK HYUNG

 **newborn:** HOESUK HYUNG

 **jihoonie:** guyssss stop bullying my boyfriendddd  
 **jihoonie:** even if he is a hoesuk

 **grandma:** i fkn hate it here

**[god changed _grandma '_s name to _hoesuk_ ]**

**hoesuk:** i really fucking hate it here

 **god:** whatever  
 **god:** you know what  
 **god:** i think everyone needs name change now

 **jihoonie:** ILL DO IT

 **pokemon:** NO ANYONE BUT YOU

 **jeongwhoops:** fine ill do it

 **pokemon:** that's even worse

 **god:** fuck it ILL do it  
 **god:** peasents

**[god changed _jihoonie '_s name to _hoesuk's hoe_ ]**

**[** **god changed _pokemon_ 's name to _nerd_ ]**

**[god changed _koalakyu '_s name to _cute but loud_ ]**

**[god changed _bambi '_s name to _cute but short_ ]**

**[god changed _jaehmes '_s name to _cute but annoying_ ]**

**[god changed _asahoui '_s name to _cute but weird_ ]**

**[god changed _doyoung_ 's name to _cute just cute_ ]**

**[god changed _naruto '_s name to _brat #1_ ]**

**[god changed _newborn '_s name to _brat #2_ ]**

**[god changed _jeongwhoops '_s name to _brat prime_ ]**

**cute but short:** okay not enjoying these "cute but" names  
 **cute but short:** it's hard to tell us apart  
 **cute but short:** there's also a clear bias towards doyoung YEDAM CHANGE IT

 **god:** damn okay

 **cute just cute:** WAIT OMG  
 **cute just cute:** Bang YeDAMNNN

 **cute but weird:** i-  
 **cute** but **weird:** doyoung your so lame

 **cute just cute:** it's funnyyy

 **hoesuk's hoe:** not it's not  
 **hoesuk's hoe:** hey i kinda like mine

 **hoesuk:** i DOnT

 **cute but short:** YEDAM

 **god:** jeez okay FiNE

**[god changed _cute but loud_ 's name to whipped cream]**

**[god changed _cute but short_ 's name to _hand-mixer_ ]**

**[god changed _cute but weird_ _'_ s name to _my side hoe_ ]**

**[god changed _cute but annoying_ 's name to _my side hoe's side hoe_ ]**

**my side hoe's side hoe:** this is  
 **my side hoe's side hoe:** um

 **god:** uGH fine

**[god changed _my side hoe's side hoe_ 's name to _sideside hoe_ ]**

**side side hoe:** fair enough i guess

 **whipped cream:** WAIT OMG ARE ME AND MASHI MATCHING  
 **whipped cream:** THAT'S SO CUTE

 **hand mixer:** not when ur name is fucking hand mixer

 **god:** i couldn't think of anything else  
 **god:** OH WAIT THERE'S ONE MORE LEFT

**[god changed their name to bang yeDAMN]**

**brat prime:** fkn whiPped

 **whipped cream:** whiPpeD liKe CreAm  
 **whipped cream:** im obviously the authority on this now

 **hand mixer:** wait but don't i technically do the whipping

 **whipped cream:** i mean if you want to 😏

 **hand mixer:** JESUS I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT  
 **hand mixer:** YOU KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT

 **brat prime:** k i n k y

 **brat #1:** KiNkY

 **brat #2:** kinkyy

 **hoesuk:** yedam...  
 **hoesuk:** yedam what have you done

 **bang yeDAMN:**.

**[User: bang yeDAMN has left the chat]**


	7. hoesuk: babe is it too late to leave and join CIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hand mixer: you ruined my sanctuary you little shit  
> hand mixer: now my relaxing morning coffee grab isn't relaxing anymore
> 
> cute just cute: BUT THE SONG'S SO RELAXING
> 
> nerd: not when you're screeching it at 5:30 in the morning.
> 
> brat prime: what the fuck doyoung hyung wakes up at 5:30???
> 
> nerd: unfortuneatly  
> nerd: he's a morning person
> 
> my side hoe: *shudders*  
> my side hoe: the worst kind of people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated names:
> 
> hyunsuk - hoesuk  
> jihoon - hoesuk's hoe  
> yoshinori - nerd  
> junkyu - whipped cream  
> mashiho - hand mixer  
> jaehyuk - side side hoe  
> asahi - my side hoe  
> yedam - bang yeDAMN  
> doyoung - cute just cute  
> haruto: brat #1  
> jeongwoo: brat prime  
> jungwhan: brat #2

**[we're going crazy - 12 participants]**

**7:45 a.m**

**cute just cute:** yeah so when I tell you all that I'm still not over wayo  
 **cute just cute:** i really really  
 **cute just cute:** really really really  
 **cute just cute:** mean it

 **hand mixer:** yes we know

 **hoesuk's hoe:** you won't let us forget about it

 **my side hoe:** everyday I wake up to the sound of you going  
 **my side hoe:** WAYO WAYO WAYO  
 **my side hoe:** from the kitchen

 **hand mixer:** you ruined my sanctuary you little shit  
 **hand mixer:** now my relaxing morning coffee grab isn't relaxing anymore

 **cute just cute:** BUT THE SONG'S SO RELAXING

 **nerd:** not when you're screeching it at 5:30 in the morning.

 **brat prime:** what the fuck doyoung hyung wakes up at 5:30???

 **nerd:** unfortuneatly  
 **nerd:** he's a morning person

 **my side hoe:** *shudders*  
 **my side hoe:** the worst kind of people

 **cute just cute:** i will not be shamed for having a healthy sleep schedule

 **nerd:** i can assure you that there is nothing healthy about sleeping at 3 and waking up at 5:30

 **hoesuk:** i stand by that  
 **hoesuk:** doyoung  
 **hoesuk:** get some goddamn sleep tf you doing?

 **cute just cute:** WHY AM I BEING ATTACKED?  
 **cute just cute:** I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG?  
 **cute just cute:** YEDAM HYUNG TELL THEM TO STOP BULLYING ME

 **hoesuk:** he's sleeping rn-

 **bang yeDAMN:** stop bullying doyoungie he's better than all of you

 **hoesuk:** well nevermind then i guess

 **brat prime:** the favoritism never stops😔

 **brat #1:** wait i have a question  
 **brat #1:** why am i brat #1 while jeongwoo's brat prime  
 **brat #1:** even tho i am older  
 **brat #1:** and am therfore the first one  
 **brat #1:** and therefore the actual brat prime

 **bang yeDAMN:** its not by age  
 **bang yeDAMN:** i gave you rankings based on how much Hyunsuk Hyung shudders when one of you walk into a room  
 **bang yeDAMN:** and since we all know Jeongwoo literally gives Hyunsuk Hyung occasional nervous breakdowns  
 **bang yeDAMN:** the answer was pretty obvious

 **brat prime:** and im proud of it  
 **brat prime:** i look forward to the day that i've given all of you nervous breakdowns  
 **brat prime:** it is my true meaning in life

 **hoesuk:** i regret the day i was born

 **brat prime:** mission accomplished lmao

 **bang yeDAMN:** _@brat #1_ see what i mean?

 **brat #1:** *sigh*  
 **brat #1:** yes

 **brat #2:** is jeongwoo hyung superior?  
 **brat #2:** well no  
 **brat #2:** but is he from iksan?  
 **brat #2:** yes

 **side side hoe:** that made no sense

 **brat #2:** shut up ur not my mom

 **side side hoe:** i-  
 **side side hoe:** asahi can i exchange with mashiho and room with you

 **my side hoe:** sure i don't mind

 **hand mixer:** excuse me tf makes you think that I'm willing to room with Jeongwoo  
 **hand mixer:** i like my peace and quiet  
 **hand mixer:** and i will not get it with that little shit around

 **bang yeDAMN:** you could switch with haruto  
 **bang yeDAMN:** and then you'd be rooming with Junkyu Hyung  
 **bang yeDAMN:** and hajeongwoo could be together

 **cute just curte:** when i tell you that this man is a genius

 **hoesuk:** ACTUALLY NO.

 **side side hoe:** what whyyy

 **hoesuk:** because when we chose rooms  
 **hoesuk:** we made the decision that no couples are going to share rooms  
 **hoesuk:** i don't want to have to deal with that  
 **hoesuk:** and i also don't want to have to purchase ear buds

 **brat prime:** what why would you have to purchase earbuds?

 **hoesuk's hoe:** well you see when two people love each other very much-

 **hoesuk:** HOW ABOUT LETS NOT HAVE THIS CONVERSATION ON THIS GC

 **cute just cute:** wait i don't understand  
 **cute just cute:** your like 15  
 **cute just cute:** how do you not get what hyung's talking about

 **brat prime:** no lmao i do  
 **brat prime:** i just enjoy giving Hyusnuk Hyung mini heartattacks

 **hoesuk:**...  
 **hoesuk:** why didn't i leave with byounggon and seunghun  
 **hoesuk:** why didn't i leave with byounggon and seunghun  
 **hoesuk:** why didn't i leave with byounggon and seunghun  
 **hoesuk:** why didn't i leave with byounggon and seunghun  
 **hoesuk:** why didn't i leave with byounggon and seunghun  
 **hoesuk:** why didn't i leave with byounggon and seunghun  
 **hoesuk:** WHY DIDN'T I LEAVE WITH BYOUNGGON AND SEUNGHUN

 **brat #2:** um  
 **brat #2:** okay

 **hoesuk's hoe:** hyunsuk hyung out here asking them real questions

 **hoesuk:** babe is it too late to leave and join CIX  
 **hoesuk:** we haven't actually debuted yet  
 **hoesuk:** we can still do it

 **hoesuk's hoe:** sure babe  
 **hoesuk's hoe:** book it tomorrow

 **hoesuk:** yes let's

 **hoesuk's hoe:** imma start packing

 **hoesuk:** same here

 **whipped cream:** i-  
 **whipped cream:** is this what betrayal feels like?  
 **whipped cream:** years and years of freindship and for what?

 **cute just cute:** WHAT THE FUCK DON'T GO WE DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER POTENTIAL LEADERS  
 **cute just cute:** THE COMPANY WILL JUST PLACE JUNKYU HYUNG AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT

 **hoesuk:** lmao no ill just put mashiho in charge and then dip

 **cute just cute:** oh okay that's not so bad  
 **cute just cute:** proceed

 **hand mixer:** WHAT THE FUCK NO I CAN'T DEAL WITH HAVING 11 KIDS

 **hoesuk's hoe:** technically we'll be gone so you'll only have 9

 **hoesuk:** ^^^

 **hand mixer:**...  
 **hand mixer:** that's it i can't deal with this im going back to japan  
 **hand mixer:** who's coming with me

 **nerd:** honestly i don't mind i miss mahiro

 **hand mixer:** perfect who else

 **brat #2:** hi yes me also i miss my mom

 **hand mixer:** great _@my side hoe_? wbu

 **my side hoe:** lmao yeah sure why not

 **bang yeDAMN:**...  
 **bang yeDAMN:** we just lost a wholeass 50% of our members  
 **bang yeDAMN:** okay then i might as well dip too  
 **bang yeDAMN:** im taking Doyoung and going to P-Nation bye yall

 **cute just cute:** sure why not

 **whipped cream:** i-  
 **whipped cream:** OKAY FINE  
 **whipped cream:** IM GOING TO JOIN SM ENT AND BECOME PART OF A NEW NCT UNIT  
 **whipped cream:** since there's only four of us left who's coming with me

 **side side hoe:** SM took me once i don't see why they wouldn't again

 **whipped cream:** perfect, come to my room we're shooting our audtion vid rn

 **side side hoe:** cool

 **brat #2:** okay WELL  
 **brat #2:** since all of you are dipping imma just become a trainee again  
 **brat #2:** im fifteen i don't mind  
 **brat #2:** and i miss treasure C

 **hoesuk:** great so everyone's sorted.  
 **hoesuk:** buh bye

 **hoesuk's hoe:** bye bitched

 **nerd:** bye bye

 **whipped cream:** bye motherfuckers

 **hand mixer:** byee

 **side side hoe:** byeeeeee

 **my side hoe:** bye.

 **bang yeDAMN:** goodbye

 **cute just cute:** BYE

 **brat #1:** byeee

 **brat #2:** buh bye

 **brat prime:**...  
 **brat prime:** this is my fault  
 **brat prime:** for pretending i didn't know why hyunsuk hyung would need ear-plugs if all the couples roomed together  
 **brat prime:** isn't it

**[Use: _hoesuk_ has left the chat]**

**brat prime:** i'll take that as a yes


	8. brat #1: in other news i think junkyu hyung is having an aneurysm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cute just cute: in my defense i was left unsupervised
> 
> hoesuk: jihoon was literally with you
> 
> hoesuk's hoe: in my defense i was ALSO left unsupervise  
> hoesuk's hoe: and also blackpink was playing  
> hoesuk's hoe: you expect me not to dance when they go "look at you now look at me"???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JAEHYUK BIRTHDAY SPECIAL EXCEPT I NEVER MENTION ITS HIS BIRTHDAY COS IVE HAD THIS CHAPTER WRITTEN FOR A WHILE

**[we're going crazy - 12 participants]  
  
** **8:06 a.m**

 **whipped cream:** MASHIHO  
**whipped cream:** HAS BLUE HAIR

 **hand mixer:** yes.

 **whipped cream:** ASDFGHJKSKDHWGIURASDJF

 **bang yeDAMN:** damn hyung are you okay?

 **cute just cute:** don't you mean *yeDAMN

 **brat #1:** no.  
**brat #1:** in other news i think junkyu hyung is having an aneurysm  
**brat #1:** he just fell off his bed while clutching his phone to his chest  
**brat #1:** now he's crying  
**brat #1:** wait forget i said that he told me not to tell anyone he's crying  
**brat #1:** ok nevermind hyunsuk hyung im scared

 **hoesuk:** hey i had blue hair once  
**hoesuk:** no one cried over MY blue hair

 **hoesuk's hoe:** lmao haha yea definitely

 **cute just cute:** shut up i heard you sobbing through the walls

 **nerd:** you were in no way quiet

 **my side hoe:** and then you walked into dinner with red eyes  
**my side hoe:** and we asked if you were okay  
**my side hoe:** and you then you just said "he's so beautiful" and burst into tears again

 **hand mixer:** later you blamed it on weed

 **nerd:** none of us believed you.

 **cute just cute:** you are not subtle

 **hoesuk's hoe:** ...  
**hoesuk's hoe:** i am being BULLIED  
**hoesuk's hoe:** is this any way to treat your LEADER

 **hoesuk:** well you sure don't act like one  
**hoesuk:** yesterday i visited ur dorm and it was just you and doyoung dancing to how you like that  
**hoesuk:** except there was a massive shattered plate in the middle of the room  
**hoesuk:** so you two wear dancing on top of the table

 **cute just cute:** in my defense i was left unsupervised

 **hoesuk:** jihoon was literally with you

 **hoesuk's hoe:** in my defense i was ALSO left unsupervise  
**hoesuk's hoe:** and also blackpink was playing  
**hoesuk's hoe:** you expect me not to dance when they go "look at you now look at me"???

 **bang yeDAMN:** iconic  
**bang yeDAMN:** they snapped

 **brat #1:** they always snap

 **brat #2:** blackpink is the revolution

 **brat prime:** LOOK UP IN THE SKY

 **side side hoe:** IT'S A BIRD ITS A PLANE

 **brat prime:** awe  
**brat prime:** jaehyuk hyung and i have that kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other’s

 **side side hoe:** sentences

 **brat prime:** .  
**brat prime:** please don't interrupt me

 **side side hoe:** i-  
**side side hoe:** asahi im being bullied

 **my side hoe:** .

 **brat #2:** ...  
**brat #2:** something tells me this isn't going to end well

 **whipped cream:** idk what just happened by jeongwoo just screamed

 **brat prime:** OH MY FUCKING GOD ASHAI HYUNG JUST WALKED INTO OUR ROOM WITH A FUCKING WRENCH  
**brat prime:** FUCK HE'S CHASING ME WITH IT  
**brat prime:** IM GOING TO DIE

 **hand mixer:** why are you texting and running at the same time your going to get hurt

 **brat prime:** IM MORE LIKELY TO GET HURT BY ASAHI HYUNG OMFSJF;WIFHPSAU;F

 **cute just cute:** MISS KIESHA?

 **brat #2:** oh my fucking god she dead

 **hoesuk:** oh my god asahi just shoved jeongwoo into a cupboard and wrenched it shut  
**hoesuk:** ...  
**hoesuk:** all my prayers have been answered

 **brat prime:** it is very dark in here  
**brat prime:** like my soul

 **hoesuk's hoe:** okay my chemical romance who do you think your kidding

 **brat prime:** what i am dark soul  
**brat prime:** and now im being left to wallow in my closet  
**brat prime:** laughing at mine and everyone elses misery  
**brat prime:** i guess im just too tough to cry

 **brat #1:** just last night you were crying about snakes

 **brat prime:** THEY DON'T HAVE ARMS

 **brat #1:** okay but junkyu hyung's still crying about mashiho hyung's hair

 **whipped cream:** ...  
**whipped cream:** don't expose me 

**brat #1:** no.

 **junkyu:** brat.

 **bang yeDAMN:** see i named them so well

 **side side hoe:** in other news asahi is blonde and i want to squeal  
**side side hoe:** he looks like a soft fluffy baby awe  
**side side hoe:** at least now that he's put the wrench down

 **my side hoe:** :)

 **side side hoe:** adorable

 **hoesuk's hoe:** you guys are so strange

 **nerd:** like you're one to talk  
**nerd:** im the only normal person in this group  
**nerd:** hyunsuk hyung would have been normal but he's so stressed that he isn't anymore  
**nerd:** when we go shopping he flinches whenever he hears a child or a teenager  
**nerd:** i think the maknae line broke him.

 **hoesuk:** ...  
**hoesuk:** it's funny cos its true  
**hoesuk:** and also incredibly sad

 **bang yeDAMN:** you'll live

 **hoesuk's hoe:** okay but what about MY hair

 **side side hoe:** the colour looks better on me

 **hoesuk's hoe:** ...  
**hoesuk's hoe:** i did not support you  
**hoesuk's hoe:** concieve you  
**hoesuk's hoe:** birth you  
**hoesuk's hoe:** and raise you as my own  
**hoesuk's hoe:** to be disrespected like this

 **side side hoe:** shut up hag  
**side side hoe:** hyunsuk did all those things  
**side side hoe:** you just called yourself my dad and then used me as a cuddle buddy

 **hoesuk's hoe:** cuddling is the most important part of parenting.

 **hoesuk:** say that to my grocery store bills.  
**hoesuk:** and my fingers after i burn myself for the 23068042th time frying jungwhan dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets

 **cute just cute:** wait  
**cute just cute:** jungwhan's chicken nuggets  
**cute just cute:** are dinosaur shaped?

 **brat #2:** and what of it?

 **cute just cute:** no nothing i was just wondering why our dorm has nasty normal shaped chicken nuggets  
**cute just cute:** >:(

 **hand mixer:** they're double the price.

 **cute just cute:** :(

 **hand mixer:** no.

 **cute just cute:** :'(

 **hoesuk's hoe:** turn that frown upside down!

 **cute just cute:** )':

 **hoesuk's hoe:**...  
**hoesuk's hoe:** listen here you little shit.

 **whipped cream:** wow today really is attack jihoon day  
**whipped cream:** im loving it

 **cute just cute:** are you still crying?

 **whipped cream:** no

 **brat #1:** yes

 **whipped cream:**...  
**whipped cream:** yes

 **hoesuk:** okay okay stop we have practice in 5 everyone out shoo shoo shoo

 **hoesuk's hoe:** yes babe

 **nerd:** yes mom

 **whipped cream:** yes mom

 **hand mixer:** yes mom

 **side side hoe:** yes mom

 **my side hoe** **:** yes mom

 **bang yeDAMN** **:** yes mom

 **cute just cute:** yes mom

 **brat #1** **:** yes mom

 **brat #2** **:** yes mom

 **hoesuk:** great let's go

**12:15 a.m**

**hoesuk:** ok good practice guys, lets go for lunch break

 **hoesuk's hoe:** you know you could just tell us this irl right?

 **hoesuk:** idk i felt the need  
**hoesuk:** ther'es just like  
**hoesuk:** okay i have this feeling  
**hoesuk:** like i'm forgetting something really important

 **brat prime:** hi

 **hoesuk:** FUCK YOUR STILL IN THE CUPBOARD

 **brat prime:** yeah I've just been chilling here binge watching i-land  
**brat prime:** mnet is so mean with editing wtf  
**brat prime:** i want to know whether i-land or ground won wtf

 **hoesuk's hoe:** im sorry um do you have air?

 **brat prime:** yes im fine park sunghoon is keeping me alive  
**brat prime:** he's so pretty  
**brat prime:** all of you watch i-land thanks

 **side side hoe:** we literally binged watched all the episodes yesterday  
**side side hoe:** for the fifth time  
**side side hoe:** and now ur watching it again

 **brat prime:** and what of it?

 **side side hoe:** nothing im coming rn open up the closet I miss their faces

 **brat prime:** it do be wrenched shut but okay

 **hoesuk:** HOW TF ARE YOU STILL ALIVE???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please watch i-land so we can freak out about it together in the comments thanks!! :)))


	9. side side hoe: it's hard to type through your tears, haruto.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my side hoe: aaaaand he's back
> 
> hoesuk: oh god  
> hoesuk: how bad are the tears this time  
> hoesuk: on a scale of the day Jeongwoo graduated middle school to the day how you like that came out
> 
> my side hoe: i'd say it's a solid blackpink album announcemnt
> 
> bang yeDAMN: o fuck  
> bang yeDAMN: he cried a lot that day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hyunsuk - hoesuk  
> jihoon - hoesuk's hoe  
> yoshinori - nerd  
> junkyu - whipped cream  
> mashiho - hand mixer  
> jaehyuk - side side hoe  
> asahi - my side hoe  
> yedam - bang yeDAMN  
> doyoung - cute just cute  
> haruto: brat #1  
> jeongwoo: brat prime  
> jungwhan: brat #2

**[we're going crazy - 12 participants]  
** **11:17 a.m**

**side side hoe:** i just wanna say

 **brat prime:** oh no

 **side side hoe:** that i love you all

 **my side hoe:** not again

 **side side hoe:** so so much

 **hand mixer:** this is the fifth time Jaehyuk's crying today  
 **hand mixer:** im starting to get worried

 **side side hoe:** I JUST LOVE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH AND   
**side side hoe:** IM SO PROUD OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU   
**side side hoe:** SMD IN MRVRE GONHA STUIP LOCINH YOU

 **brat one:** wow i understood none of that

 **side side hoe:** it's hard to type through your tears, haruto.

 **brat prime:** well then how'd you type that

 **side side hoe:** audio to text

 **nerd:** huh  
 **nerd:** no wonder he used perfect punctuation

 **side side hoe:** IM JUST TRYING TO SHELF YHOU ALK I LOBE YOI WHU ATE YUI ATTAVKING MR

 **my side hoe:** aaaaand he's back

 **hoesuk:** oh god  
 **hoesuk:** how bad are the tears this time  
 **hoesuk:** on a scale of the day Jeongwoo graduated middle school to the day how you like that came out

 **my side hoe:** i'd say it's a solid blackpink album announcemnt

 **bang yeDAMN:** o fuck  
 **bang yeDAMN:** he cried a lot that day

 **my side hoe:** look who's talking

 **bang yeDAMN:** THEY DESERVE IT OKAY THEY'RE SUCH TALENTED QUEENS  
 **bang yeDAMN:** AND THEY GET HATE FOR LITERALLY BREATHING LIKE  
 **bang yeDAMN:** BLACKPINK DESERVE BETTER

 **whipped cream:** say it louder for the ones at the back  
 **whipped cream:** scream it

 **cute just cute:** on another note  
 **cute just cute:** jaehyuk hyung if it's any consolation Jihoon hyung has also been crying for the past 30 minutes

 **hoesuk's hoe:** no i haven't-

 **my side hoe:** yes you have

 **nerd:** yes you have

 **hand mixer:** yes you have

 **cute just cute:** yes you have

 **hoesuk's hoe:** yes i have-

 **hoesuk:** huh  
 **hoesuk:** you haven't stopped for a solid like  
 **hoesuk:** 34 hours

 **hoesuk's hoe:** LISTEN I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO CRY  
 **hoesuk's hoe:** IM AM OLD AND EMOTIONAL  
 **hoesuk's hoe:** I NEED SPACE TO LET MY EMOTIONS FLOW  
 **hoesuk's hoe:** BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE AND I DIE A BITTER OLD MAN

 **nerd:** you're 20 years old?

 **brat prime:** and?  
 **brat prime:** he's still old

 **nerd:** *sigh*  
 **nerd:** i really don't know why i try

 **hoesuk:** yeah i gave up in 2019

 **nerd:** smart really

 **hoesuk:** wanna go bury our sorrows in ice cream and clothes

 **nerd:** yes please~

 **hoesuk's hoe:** i-  
 **hoesuk's hoe:** did yoshi just steal my boyfriend-  
 **hoesuk's hoe:** while i was CRYING

 **whipped cream:** they're just best friends bro let them have their girl talk bro

 **hoesuk's hoe:** bro i love you so much bro

 **whipped cream:** bro your going to make me cry bro

 **hoesuk's hoe:** bro i'm ALREADY crying bro

 **whipped cream:** BRO🥺

**hoesuk's hoe: BRO🥺**

**my side hoe:**...  
 **my side hoe:** i-  
 **my side hoe:** what heterosexual nightmare did i just enter

 **hand mixer:** the kind where junkyu hyung and jihoon hyung are going to spend the next 45 minutes hugging and crying together

 **hoesuk:** oh man not again-

 **hoesuk's hoe:** what's wrong babe  
 **hoesuk's hoe:** you jealous ;)

 **hoesuk:** no im just really not looking forward to you drenching my fifth designer sweater with your tears

 **hoesuk's hoe:**...  
 **hoesuk's hoe:** but you're still jealous right

 **hoesuk:** no-

 **brat two:** let's change the subject: fun fact, when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster

**cute just cute:** that’s so fucked up. that is murder suicide. bananas commit murder suicide

**brat one:** that’s pretty fucking metal

**brat prime:** i’d say it’s pretty fucking  
 **brat prime:** bananas

** hand mixer: ** jeongwoo

** brat prime: ** yes hyung

** hand mixer: ** you know i love you right?

** brate prime: ** right

** hand mixer: ** ok  
 **hand mixer:** so

** hand mixer:  ** like-

** my side hoe: ** delete yourself

** hand mixer: ** yeah that

**brat two:** time flies  
 **brat two:** our debut day arrives  
 **brat two:** but ultimately  
 **brat two:** everything always ends  
 **brat two:** with cancelling jeongwoo hyung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super duper short chapter BUT it's today it's today it's today it's today it's TODAY 
> 
> I CAN'T BREATHE
> 
> (i also wrote a little i-land fic on here so if yall listened to me and watched the show - AS YOU SHOULD - please please please give it a read🥺)


End file.
